Archive for February, 2010
Women Who Mark Sex on Their Calendars Scare Me the Way Serial Killers Scare Me
If you’re in the L.A. area, please check out our annual breast cancer benefit Breast Cancer Be Trippin. If you’re not in L.A. or if you’re busy that night, please consider making a donation to the ABCF.
Some women cling religiously to their daily planner. They can’t even pop into Starbucks without checking the agenda to make sure they’ve got fifteen minutes free. These super-planners also write stuff after the fact, so that their calendar functions as an ongoing journal of daily life. These super-planners might also make extensive use of some complicated system of color-coded symbols, more intricate than a Mayan calendar and more difficult to decipher than the Rosetta Stone. They use a red sad face to indicate the start of her period, a green dot to indicate a night smoking pot, and (in my personal favorite) a red heart to indicate the ultimate - penis in vagina.
Why these women need to delineate each time they get down is beyond me. Do these women look back at the end of the year - the way an accountant adds up receipts - and use all that July sex as a tax write-off? Is it a compilation of firsthand evidence, to use as proof if the boyfriend ever claims they’re not having enough sex? Is it the modern version of a reliable primary source, almost as if Abigail Adams (in addition to her letters) had kept careful track of every time she knocked boots in the White House?
I can think of no logical reason to keep track of this. In fact, you’d think that guys, in all their macho libidinousness, would be the ones keeping track, but I’ve never met a dude who kept a daily tally - counting nights of sex the way the Count of Monte Cristo counts days in prison.
Dear ladies: Why do you do this?
Tip for guys: If your girlfriend does this, be afraid.
Contest: Do’s and Don’ts for Valentine’s Day
If you’re in the L.A. area, please check out our annual breast cancer benefit Breast Cancer Be Trippin. If you’re not in L.A. or if you’re busy that night, please consider making a donation to the ABCF.
Last year, we took a look at Valentine’s Day from a guy’s perspective. This year, we’d like to celebrate the most trippin day of the year with a few Do’s and Don’ts for the fourteenth of February. I made my Valentine’s Day bones with flowers and cards, but now - a little older and a little wiser - I think I’ve got some insight on this made-up holiday that’s worth sharing.
If you’ve got suggestions for Do’s and Don’ts for Valentine’s Day, feel free to share them in the comments section. We’ll choose our favorite suggestion, and the Valentine’s Day wiseguy (or girl) will find himself with $110 worth of cologne and skin products on behalf of The Body Shop. To double your chances, post your Do’s and Don’ts both here and at The Body Shop’s Do This, Not That.
DO buy a card. For whatever reason, women love getting cards.
DON’T buy only a card. Even if it’s one of those awesome ones that plays music when you open it, a card alone does not guarantee an argument-free V-Day.
DO tell her that her hair looks good.
DON’T sigh in exasperation when you get the bill at dinner.
DO go out to dinner.
DON’T think that you can score a rad table if you haven’t already made a reservation. At this point, you should just give up. The ship has sailed, my friend.
Now, we’d love to hear yours…
3 commentsThird Annual Breast Cancer Be Trippin
A half dozen comedians will stand up to breast cancer when they take the stage at Breast Cancer Be Trippin, an evening of comedy to benefit uninsured women in the fight against breast cancer. Breast Cancer Be Trippin will be held Wednesday, February 24th, at the National Comedy Theatre (733 Seward St., Hollywood), home to ComedySportz. BCBT3 begins at 8pm. Tickets are $25.
The evening of comedy includes performances by:
- Cat Davis (Cat on the Prowl)
- Megan Mooney (Comedy Central Presents)
- Whitney Cummings (Chelsea Lately)
- Sarah Silverman (The Sarah Silverman Program)
- Garfunkel & Oates (The Jay Leno Show).
- …and more.
Breast cancer is among the two deadliest cancers for American women. Everyone knows someone who’s been affected by breast cancer – moms, sisters, grandmothers, hair stylists, Christina Applegate. Breast Cancer Be Trippin is designed to get out a critical message and raise awareness among both men and women who might not normally spend time worrying about the disease.
Each day, over 100 American women die from breast cancer. That’s an average of one death every thirteen minutes. Overall, one in eight women in America will be diagnosed with breast cancer at some point in her lifetime. A leading risk factor for breast cancer is late detection. Women are advised to obtain a mammogram every other year after they reach the age of forty, yet a third of women over forty have not received a mammogram in the last two years.
If breast cancer is detected early enough, the patient has a 98% rate of survival, but unfortunately, almost 40% of breast cancer is not detected until the cancer has spread beyond the localized stage. Access to mammograms will facilitate early detection. However, Los Angeles County, alone, has over one million uninsured women – women who do not have easy access to mammograms – and there are nearly twenty million uninsured women nationally.
It sounds cliché, but in this case, a little really does go a long way. Our hope is that Breast Cancer Be Trippin will give people an immediate return for their donation – in this case, a night of comedy. Over the past two years, Breast Cancer Be Trippin has raised over $1,000 for the American Breast Cancer Foundation. For tickets, visit BreastCancerBeTrippin.com.
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