Women Be Trippin’ welcomes Kristin Palmer - our newest member of the gang.
I think I was in 10th grade when my best friend turned to me one day and suggested that we “adopt” a gay guy to be part of our B-level popularity clique. “It would be great. We could go shopping with him and he could do our hair and our makeup and we would probably have crushes on all the same guys at school.”
My reaction to this proposal about eight years ago was similar to my reaction last weekend when a fully grown, adult woman acquaintance of mine mentioned that she too would like to find a nice gay to be her friend: What The F*ck?
Besides the obviously insulting assumption that a gay BFF can just be easily picked up from a fictional Bedazzled vending machine and used like an outfit accessory, I have to wonder where this collective female desire was spawned and why it perpetuates. (More after the jump.)
Most girls I know would give the explanation that a gay man gives the security of friendly companionship without the pressure of a potential sexual relationship. Although I understand this notion, I still fail to grasp the importance of the gay factor. I have plenty of girl friends who I can hang out with, without feeling pressured to give thanks-for-getting-dinner road-head on the way home (although I usually do anyway, just to be polite).
Even though I question the desire these women have for the gay best friend, I’ve really had the answer all along: Novelty. The gay friend is a rare accessory that fits nicely between a teacup poodle and a Juicy Couture tote. After watching season after season of Will & Grace, many women have been conditioned to think that a gay best friend brings guarantees of fashion know-how, relationship advice, impeccable grooming abilities, and a slew of clever, bitchy retorts. IMHO, if you’re looking for a gay friend, you don’t deserve one.
Please tell me that other girls don’t do this. It de-legitimizes all the gay best friends that I know. I thought they actually needed a non-threatening man to go shopping with. My whole perspective has changed.
So what does it mean then if my best friend is a lesbian? I think this needs to be discussed next!
Because they’re safe and wonderful for the most part. yes they can be bitchy-er than most of your girlfriends or frenemies, but mostly, gay men will give you an honest evaluation on how your butt really looks in those jeans, and why that outfit just was a “hot mess” (while most guys wont touch that conversation with a ten foot pole).
Gay men understand our obsession with shoes, in fact they help us pick them out and they will listen to us lament for hours about our boyfriends (and then give us the catty/bithcy advice that we SO crave).
Gay men understand and sympathize with our weight woes and will tell us to our face when our hair looks gross.
FINALLY, you can cuddle with gay men and dance with gay men and kiss gay men without the horrible awkwardness that can come from doing these things with straight men.
In short, gay men are fabulous and are a staple in the modern straight woman’s life.