I come across a lot of weird stuff on my travails across the internet for further proof that women be trippin, but “reborns” are hands down the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. I almost think I can retire now that I’ve discovered something as uniquely trippin as these lifelike baby dolls.

Not only are these dolls individually made with frightening precision (each hair is rooted in the head, strand by strand), but it also costs a pretty penny to call one of these dolls your own. Each “reborn” runs you about $4,000. Four thousand dollars?! That’s a little more than half the cost of going to a real hospital with certified doctors and having them deliver a baby the way nature intended. On the one hand, it’s a cost saver versus the real thing. On the other hand, it’s $4,000 for a DOLL!

Some women buy these dolls because they yearn to have kids so bad, they need to have something that looks, feels, and weighs the same as a real loin fruit. These women are a dangerous threat to our society, and they ought to be quarantined.

Other women buy these “reborns” so that they, themselves, can become “remoms.” Since their kids have all grown up, they long for that feeling of helplessness that an infant provides. And since you can’t freeze your real kids in time, buying a doll is the next best thing. These women are equally out of their mind. What’s the kid gonna think when mommy is spending all her time tending to some expensive piece of plastic?

One “remom” compares herself to a man who might build a model train set. While I think that hobby is strange, as well, the guys who build them don’t think that the model train set is an actual train depot. They have a greater grasp on this lovely place I call reality.