Guys might get a lot of flack for having overly simple bedrooms. What more do you need besides a bed, a bookshelf, and a computer? But none of that simplicity ever got in the way when the mood mattered most. The bed, the bookshelf, and the desktop never got in the way of the ultimate.

Women, on the other hand, stockpile their rooms with Moodkillers - set up in a precarious maze like a life-size version of Mousetrap. The prime moodkillers:

1) The Fan
While the fan - either an overhead or a box fan - is a lifesaver during hot summer nights, it’s a mood-serial-killer when it’s time for bangarang. The breeze dries up the room like the Dust Bowl, and pretty soon, you’ve naked and un-enthused, annoyed by the wind sweeping down your plains.

2) The Cat
For Christ’s sake, put the cat outside! We don’t care if your roommate is allergic. We don’t care if the cat has slept beside you every night since you were twelve. There are few things in life as creepy and moodkilling as feline interruptus. There you are, working your horizontal magic, when a house-panther lunges onto the bed and begins licking itself. Nothing puts you in the mood like being watched and licked by a temperamental kitten.

3) The Clock
No, thank you. I do not need to be reminded of every passing second with a loud and obnoxious tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. Clocks with second-hands don’t belong in bedrooms. They belong in prisons, asylums, and Edgar Allan Poe anthologies.

4) The Chick-Rock
Sure, I like Alanis Morissette or Gwen Stefani, but that doesn’t mean I want to listen to their abrasive man-hate while I’m performing the Sisyphean task of getting us both warmed up. Please, turn off the Indigo Girls for forty-five minutes while I tend to the task at hand. Then, be my guest: You can put on the Lillith Fair playlist and rock out while I’m heading home.