Women Be Trippin asks the question, “Why do guys hate Valentine’s Day?”

To better understand women’s fascinations with dieting, Jake and Eddie went on The Lemonade Diet (The Master Cleanse) for ten days.

Jake:

Holy fucking crap. This sucks. Today was the worst day ever. I woke up so incredibly tired. My mouth still has a weird taste in it, and my tongue is white - all supposedly normal as my body tries to expel waste. I’m so ready for food. I need food. I’m dying here. I have a low but constant desire all day to throw up. I’m cold all the time. Only shat once today and I was one step away from not making it. Basically, it feels like I’m dying. Slowly. My eyes are all glazed over and I had to take a nap when I got home from work. I feel weak and tired and could guess that in 6 days I’ve probably lost at least 8 pounds.

Friday is a long ways away. I think a week is enough for me. I’m done tomorrow. Tomorrow can’t come soon enough.

Eddie:

Despite yesterday’s unexpected poop-debacle, today’s been the best day yet. I’ve had hardly any hunger discomfort, I feel super-energized, and my mood has been the best it’s been since I started this diet. For the first time, I don’t think it would be difficult to finish it.

That being said, I had the weirdest food craving today. While I was stashing my jug of lemonade in the fridge, I noticed that my roommate had a bucket of leftovers from KFC. Mind you, I hate chicken, and I probably haven’t eaten fried chicken in eight years. But none of that mattered as I peeled back the lid to see how many pieces there were. Seven.

But I left them untouched. I’m gonna finish this diet right.

To better understand women’s fascinations with dieting, Jake and Eddie went on The Lemonade Diet (The Master Cleanse) for ten days.

Jake:

This was by far the hardest day. I tried to keep busy, but temptation seemed to be at its worse.

Physically, I feel fine. I have a lot of energy, and I’m still not starving. I think what we’re doing is torturing ourselves. Our kidneys and livers were meant to filter out bad stuff. Our intestines were meant to be filled with shit. So the idea that I have to deny myself food so that I can clean my kidneys and liver, and cleanse my intestines is ridiculous. I shat today for the first real time on the diet and it was nasty. If you imagine cleaning out the dusty, dirty corners of your body, that’s what it was. It seemed like all the toxins and old shit stuck in my body.

I’m also slowing down my intake of the lemonade. I have my saltwater in the morning and then don’t drink the lemonade until about 2 or 3. I’m just sort of repulsed by it and bored of it. I’m ready for food. This is fucking stupid.

Eddie:

I hate this diet.

(See 0:43 of the video above if you’re wondering why.)

To better understand women’s fascinations with dieting, Jake and Eddie went on The Lemonade Diet (The Master Cleanse) for ten days.

Jake:

I had some saltwater mix this morning, but again, to no avail. Maybe I’m mixing it wrong, but it just doesn’t seem to be doing the trick of “cleansing” my organs. I didn’t start drinking the lemonade until like 2 or 3pm. It’s weird, though, because I didn’t get cranky or starving or desperate like I may have, had I not been doing this master cleanse.

To me, here’s where women be trippin. It’s the extreme nature of this cleanse as a way to trick your body. What I’m doing is so unhealthy and unnatural - not eating - yet, my body doesn’t need food. The newfound intense need for food will soon take over and I can see how girls who do this will gain all the weight back in a few days.

Eddie:

I’ve been pacing myself through the day’s lemonade pretty well, and I’ve been avoiding people (and thus avoiding arguments). I talked to a friend of mine who made it all the way through the diet, and that helped give me courage for the fray.

I started to look at myself in the mirror today, and I feel thinner. Several people have told me that I look thinner. It could just be my posture, but it’s gotten to my head. I’m starting to get so used to the way I look now, I’ve almost forgotten the hefty-hefty I left behind.

I’ve been secretly making a list of foods I’m dying to eat. I wouldn’t be surprised if, in two weeks, I’m actually heavier than when I started this whole mess (if I’m not in the hospital by then).

To better understand women’s fascinations with dieting, Jake and Eddie went on The Lemonade Diet (The Master Cleanse) for ten days.

Jake:

I’m about 20 hours into the lemonade cleanse. I was actually cool with it through lunchtime, and through what usually is my afternoon snacktime.

But as dinnertime approaches, a weird thing is happening to my body. I’m looking at the 1/4 gallon that’s left of my daily gallon and each cup-full makes me gag just a little. It reminds me of the feeling of eating cottage cheese. The first few bites are delicious. It’s refreshing and creamy and salty and great. But after a short while, I start reminding myself that this is chunky, old milk. And suddenly, the texture and flavor don’t seem as delicious. I’ll finish it, but not without getting in my head about how gross this actually is.

So, with 20 hours down, I’ve only peed 5 times today. No poos. I expected more, but maybe that will change tomorrow. I’ve been going in and out of being just sort of in a tired stupor to being really lucid. It’s not unlike being drunk. There are times where I’m in a great mood and feel loopy and silly. I want to go and talk to people and I feel great. Actually, it’s a lot like being drunk… vomiting may seal the deal.

Eddie:

I started the Lemonade Diet at 9:20 last night, so today is my first full day on the diet. Last night, as I caught up on some TV, it seemed like every goddamn commercial was for a restaurant. Has Tuesday night become FoodNight on TV?

To better understand women’s fascinations with dieting, Jake and Eddie went on The Lemonade Diet (The Master Cleanse) for ten days.

Here are some of our favorite posts from this year:

Ugly Friend: Women Be Trippin on ugly friends and why girls have them (with special guest Jaimey).

Sex and the City Midnight Screening: Women Be Trippin takes a field trip to the midnight screening of SEX AND THE CITY, to try to understand why women like the movie so much.

Brazilian Wax: Women Be Trippin gets a Brazilian Wax to find out what girls have to go through.

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Women Be Trippin’ Exclusive: Greg gets a Brazilian Wax to find out what girls have to go through.