To better understand women’s fascinations with dieting, Jake and Eddie went on The Lemonade Diet (The Master Cleanse) for ten days.

Jake:

I’m about 20 hours into the lemonade cleanse. I was actually cool with it through lunchtime, and through what usually is my afternoon snacktime.

But as dinnertime approaches, a weird thing is happening to my body. I’m looking at the 1/4 gallon that’s left of my daily gallon and each cup-full makes me gag just a little. It reminds me of the feeling of eating cottage cheese. The first few bites are delicious. It’s refreshing and creamy and salty and great. But after a short while, I start reminding myself that this is chunky, old milk. And suddenly, the texture and flavor don’t seem as delicious. I’ll finish it, but not without getting in my head about how gross this actually is.

So, with 20 hours down, I’ve only peed 5 times today. No poos. I expected more, but maybe that will change tomorrow. I’ve been going in and out of being just sort of in a tired stupor to being really lucid. It’s not unlike being drunk. There are times where I’m in a great mood and feel loopy and silly. I want to go and talk to people and I feel great. Actually, it’s a lot like being drunk… vomiting may seal the deal.

Eddie:

I started the Lemonade Diet at 9:20 last night, so today is my first full day on the diet. Last night, as I caught up on some TV, it seemed like every goddamn commercial was for a restaurant. Has Tuesday night become FoodNight on TV?